A Rough Workout In My Head

I had very little motivation today.  Tori had today out so I didn’t have a buddy, I couldn’t decided where I wanted to walk, or what sort of training I wanted to do.  Once I got in the treadmill my legs were feeling pretty tight even after my warm-up.  Not worth risking injury to push out intervals when I’m already in pain.  So I just walked, slow and steady.  I had 35 minutes on my training plan, but I did 45  (1.92 miles 24:05 average pace) including my cool down. I stretched out afterwards and then got the heck out of there.

It was a really rough day in my head though.  Race registration for the 2018 Princess Half Marathon is Thursday for me.  No – I can’t wait to register because it sells out pretty fast. I’ve got to put my money where my mouth is on Thursday.  The problem is that I’m no where near where I thought my starting point (20:00 pace) would even be yet.   Yes, I’ve done several 5K training days, and I’m working on the 10K training program right now.  BUT I’M SO FRICKING SLOW!!!  I’m registering, because I want to be able to do this.  And I’m training to do this, I’m just not sure that I can do this.

Disney has a 16 minute mile cut off – that means that I have to be able to drop about 6 more minutes a mile to just reach the cut off.  However I know of plenty of people who could do that pace but got swept from the course anyhow because they did something crazy during the race, like stop to pee. Disney suggests training for a 15 minute mile.  That’s 7 minutes faster than I am now.  I have to be able to drop 7 minutes a mile.  That just sounds so impossible to me.  It makes me want to cry.   If I’m going to take on this course, I really want to be able to finish the race.  I don’t care if I’m the a last person to finish, I want to finish.  I’m terrified of being swept.

I know that at some point I will have to work in running to accomplish my goal.  My physical therapist says  that now is not that time.  I have to be smart about getting to my goal, it’s just so discouraging to be so very far away from it.  SO VERY DISCOURAGING.  I’m trying to give myself every advantage, doing things slowly, using the support structure that I have.  It’s a struggle though, up hill all the way. 

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